Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
