I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
