Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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