We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize