i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
