omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
