How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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