Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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