I'm lost and stupid without you.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ugly people sure do ruin things
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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