You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
