My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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