Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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