somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
