how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
