similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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