Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
