Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
