come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
They have beer where we have blood.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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