shes about as inviting as chlamydia
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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