who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
