no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
