ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
