no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
