My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
