somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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