I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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