Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
