Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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