if you like me you must not know who I am
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
