i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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