so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
