I'm lost and stupid without you.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize