Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh god the rape fog is back!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
