and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
