Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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