Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
