the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
