I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
