Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
