at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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