We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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