...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
