I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
