Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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