he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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