Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
