But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Watching her eat just hurts me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
