am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
