i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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