My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
