the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
