I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
