I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
