he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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