I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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