They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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