New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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