she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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