I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
