Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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