Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
