i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
