I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize