Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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