He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I want to fling myself into the sun
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
