If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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