i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
