apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
